AndaraBledin

[recording begins] [male voice, slurred Australian Junker accent] Well, ‘parently sumthin’ happened to me old spare arm. Woke up to find it all smashed up. Don’t make no matter, tho, since I upgraded my ‘tachment mount las’time we pulled a major heist, so wouldn’a fit… No idea why the junk was even pulled outta the box it was stashed in… [bits of metal hitting a wooden surface] ‘Sall a buncha scrap, now… half of it ain’t even recov’rable… Eh, we got plenty more where that came from! [drunken giggling] [short silence] Looks like ol’ Roadie hit the same

[recording begins] [male voice, heavily slurred Australian Junker accent] … ooo-eee this stuff’s strong… Roadie go’ me my own beer. Dunno what’s innit, but it’s ace! [short silence] [soft drunken giggling] Took me arm with’im… and the spare one I keep f’r when I needa repair the good’un. Musta f’got the old’un I ‘aven’t scavenged the good bits offa, yet. [uneven footsteps receeding] [distant] … where the hell… no… tha’s not right… … wha’s that doin’ there? [sound of metal striking metal] Ah, ‘er

[recording begins] [male voice with mildly slurred Australian Junker accent] Aright, go’ i’ workin’ ‘gain… [short silence, then unbroken glass striking other glass] [the recording skips] [muttered] finally go’ the bloody buttons ta work… won’t need ta be whackin’ it wi’ a wrench ta get it ta stop… [drunken giggling] [much louder] So! Recordin’ this for … pos-ter-i-ty. [giggling] Looked that up, I did. [softer] well, didn’t really look it up… go’ nowhere to be lookin’ it up in, and even if I did, not like I’m any good a’

[burst of static] [male voice, slurred speech, low Australian accent] -sted thing workin’ yet? Oi, got me a red light! Soooo…. thisss gonna be a mic check. Check. Check. Check, please! Hahahaha heehee hee. Hee. [several moments of random drunken giggling trailing off into silence] [muttered] dunno what … pretty red light … red’s sucha pretty colah… [short silence] Oh, right, I’m recordin’ fer posterior! No, wait, thass not right… poster… pasta… now I’m ‘ungry, an Roadie ain’t back from his grub grab, yet… Hahahee, he’d better pick himself

Oh, no! I waited too long... It's coming; I'm trapped... It's gasp The Wrong Side Of The Sunrise!™ Normal human [all right, that isn't entirely accurate] by day. Late at night, my vampiric tendencies take over. However, unlike other vampires, I gain sustenance not through the biting of others and partaking of their lifeblood, but from the light radiation coming from a computer monitor. I need only occasional sips of water to keep my heat down [having no internal fan of my own]. But I waited too long and now it's coming. In darkness, I am as a vampire; in the light, I am [mostly] human. But in the space in between, the dawn itself,

Interview with an Immortal [A monitor in a remote, unmanned survey station crackles softly. Unseen by anyone, the static fades to be replaced by what would appear to be a talk show in progress originating from someplace completely foreign. The audience seems to be laughing, although the actual sounds have never been heard by human ears before.] Cerelures: [the announcer addresses the camera and audience] So, without further ado, let's get to the questions with this week's first guest, Andara Bledin. [The announcer gives the impression of masculinity. He gestures to a point out of view of the camera, which turns to capture the entrance of a